His Story

A Part of His Story
part 2 of "A Story"

His story is Complex. The layers are to deep that if i cut into then to fast the risk of bleeding to death may cause him pain he hasn't felt in a while. Remember how much he use to dream. how sleep would be just that... of course not.. i have yet to say anything. Ill jump to the past in another post. Ill tell you what he told me about today.

Cleaning Up A Goodbye

Days become weeks

weeks become months and months eventually become years.

All that time with out a proper goodbye…..

He woke up and realized that he let his room become a mess. he couldn't walk without stepping on cloths and other random things like pens, books and art supplies. A project he said. he began by sitting on the floor to sort everything, papers,bags, clean cloths, dirty cloths, the memories, and then his time stops ticking. reading moments left behind out loud. No one told us that words really do paint pictures. Some pictures are sweet, nice and comforting and others not so much.

Words dance around the room, around him, around his mind... so silent to the human ear but so loud to his heart.

he saw a note to himself one he wrote to himself but that not will be in the next post!

Paper by paper he read each word to himself and threw those papers away.

3hours later the room is pretty much clean the imprint of those memories will always be there.. see ..he told me there is no real way to say or clean up a goodbye, knowing that those will always be memories that haunt ..all you can really do is let go.. as he walked to the trash can...that's just what he did.. Let go

Friday, March 07, 2008 Confuseing Reality?

I lost myself in a world
were to die is the only way to get some rest
The more I try to forget
the more i fall apart

to understand this life style is so funny
i missunderstood the rules
who knew the moon would be the sun
dim soft light above me
as tears of shame and guilt
fall right though me
speak of nothing
i'll hope for the best
will this stay the same
or will you runaway like everything
in Life

Jimmy Lopez..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

JMG Model & Talent
219 North Second Street, Suit 401

..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Minneapolis, MN 55401

Tel: 612-338-2007

Fax: 612-338-2087

Statistics:

Height - 5'11" Eyes - DK Brown Hair - Black Shoe - 9

Weight - 195 Suit Size - 42R Waist - 34 Inseam – 31

Experience:

Print

Jim Woosley, Commercial/Fashion Photographer

Dani Werner, Commercial Photographer

J. Darius Davis, Commercial/Fashion Photographer

Runway

Matrix Hair Show
MN Talent Showcase
IMTA New York

Training:

Team Runway Coaching Nong Souvannasane Caryn International

Tips on Auditioning Tom Logan Caryn International

Photo Movement James Pentaudi Caryn International

Monologue Coaching Barbe Marshall Caryn International

Sitcom Coaching Barbe Marshall Caryn International

Performance 1 Brett Witta Caryn International

Image Enhancement Brett Witta Caryn International

Communication Skills Brett Witta Caryn International

Nutrition & Exercise Brett Witta Caryn International

Basic Runway Brett Witta Caryn International

Pro Model Workshop Ann Cazaban Caryn International

Business Etiquette Ann Cazaban Caryn International

Advanced Runway Ann Cazaban Caryn International

Hobbies:

Acting, Modeling, Photography, Skateboarding(Still Learning), Downhill Skiing, Soccer

* Competed In The International Model and Talent Association (IMTA)*

His Mind

His Mind

His mind speaks to him as a whisper. Its a voice inside that echos his will to love, learn and sometimes remember.

He's inside a world visibly invisible. No one can see his footsteps left black.

A Story...

He once dreamt of a place where cities were bright. Were sitting was rest and sleeping wasn't trespassing. He holds his breath inside this dream. Can you here him walking down the street. left and right cars pass without suspicion and he follows the made believe destination he made for himself.

Here in this dream hes okay, Hes alive, breathless but still with a pulse.

Looking Inside

Distant

I've asked him where his mind rested on days he would disappear for a few weeks or more.
He doesn't ever say much when he was that distant and disconnected but today hes willing to talk.

"My mind looses its self with my permission. I disappear in hope that the sun would set forever wrought in my own paused imagination and dry my eyes for good..."

sometimes in a room with no lights on
...where he could isolate himself from everything and everyone. He would make himself bleed to see if he could feel but numb to the kiss the razor left... all his skin would do is cry.

He would fly in a sky painted black stainless steal grass would cut his feet open
hands would bleed and still he would feel nothing

Looking Inside

That mind is complex. That story he has hidden. The sentences that only a select few would hear are you willing to look inside his world.

The day ends

With another footstep in the dark

Flash Back

Flash Back

He's walking in the dark as footsteps land, plant themselves and left unurtured.
They grow as weeds so you wont notices he was once something more then just a pulse.

Look at his eyes...
deep dirty brown
hand a shade darker

...and personality lost somewhere in between a journal entry and now.

there is a painting he'd like to share with you a flash back he saw in some undated hour.

Broken hearted He's been departed from His childhood hands. Still wounded he's force to step inside a timeless world that keeps on ticking. Days are short and nights are long. His made up song helped the unknown hours pass on some days.

School Started Already

He woke up on time or so he thinks. Walking calmly and composing himself for school. The walk seems long but its only about 3 miles away maybe more. The sun is lacking some rays and dimly shining but He dismissed the fact that it was a cloudy day...so it could only be 7:30am.

No bus passed him on this walk to school
No student in sight
Just his shadow he's hasn't gotten to know yet

almost there...

He runs a bit to catch up with the time he doesn't know is ahead of him.
Steps go right left right left a couple dozen times eager to get breakfast. The night was long
Clothes a bit on the questionable side but there is nothing he can do about that.

One quick pause takes a breather or two and steps inside.

"You need a pass?" The man on the desk asked him
"What?...What time is it" he replied
"Your late...School Started Already" the said "Sign in and get to class"

He picks up the unsharpened pencil Write his name only and goes to class...

I'm Not Late For Math

The walls are old and thin. He can hear the Noise and cuss words from the next class.
He a shy boy not too young but not too old. He's stuck in the old enough but not old at all.
There is nothing that popped into his mind in that hour but the as usual
"Great I'm not late for math"

He tries to focus and get some work done...
asked a few questions and backs up a few minuets early.

That Flash Back

It was a random one. A story to read a hidden moment to share once the next sentence is written you'll read the other parts to his journey in the dark

Memory

"My FootSteps In The Dark" Is The Daily Life Lived Unseen
Its The Moments, Thoughts And Thanks Given Unsaid Revealed

Hope you Enjoy "My FootSteps In The Dark"

Before Midnight

Its a re-enactment in his mind The dark blurs some memory's but overall life is clear in thought.

when the sunsets inside the blank of the days they couldn't see. The times they can not see is the moment he wishes you could have seen.

Here the moon shines hard enough so he could see the letters inside the notes. He reads the love thru digital letters printed off the computer just to feel like someone might have thought about him through out the day.

Over and over he forgets about those times when he was normal. He's left blank near emotionless but so emotional he breaks down.

He remembered to look over the day
think about tomorrow and wait...

Sleep

He lays his head for sleep. Now I don't remember how he looks like when he actually sleeping but I can tell you that sleep come harder then you think.

He crouches or "squats" and awaken with cramps on his legs and when luck he jumps from couch to couch just to rest.

I wish I could tell you the face in the dark. Or the weight in his world all right now its just the beginning of sleep.

and so he'll sleep....